Clockwork Cliché
by ChekParker
Summary: A new wizard wishes to find a strong guild. Or a strong girlfriend. Whichever, really.


Lucy stood with Natsu, Grey, and Erza in front of the S-rank job board. Happy floated overhead, gnawing on a fish. "1,000,000 jewel just for catching one wizard?" Lucy turned. "Hey Mirajane, is this right?"

The silver-haired beauty turned from where she had been talking to Elfman. "Yeah, that's right. Apparently he's been a real pain. His description is all over the place from a ten-year-old boy to a ninety-year old man with black and white hair. It doesn't say what type of magic he uses."

Natsu laughed and threw a fist in the air. "All right! I'm fired up, let's go get him!" He started for the door but was stopped short by Erza.

"Hold on. It says here he's been challenging the guilds' strongest members. If that's the case then all we have to do is wait."

"But there's so many guilds! It could take him forever to get here!"

"Take forever for who to get here?" An unfamiliar voice drew attention to the door. A young man with black and white streaked hair stood in the doorway. He was dressed in loose– but not baggy– black clothing, sunglasses, and a large heavy scythe. He strode calmly into the main room. "You know, it's awfully rude to talk about people behind their backs."

"That's him!" Natsu broke free of Erza's hand and flew at the wizard. The wizard had barely made eye contact with the dragon slayer before stepping out of the way with incredible speed and bringing the edge of his hand down on Natsu's head as he passed, knocking him unconscious.

"Jumpy boy." The wanted wizard looked up and around at the now hostile guild members of Fairy Tail. "So this is Fairy Tail, eh? You're supposedly the strongest guild around. Maybe…" He raised his voice. "I am Job," he pronounced it like the biblical name. "I am here to challenge the strongest member of Fairy Tail! You," he faced Erza, "Erza Scarlet. Titania. I challenge you to a duel."

Macao laughed from one of the tables. "You're not very smart walking into a guild with that reward out for you. What if we all just caught you right now?"

"Then you'll split 1,000,000 jewel between all of you." Job shrugged. "But I wouldn't suggest trying. I don't like making small transactions."

Lucy looked back at the wanted ad. "Wait. You're the one who put the reward out? ON YOURSELF?" Lucy looked back at him in shock.

"Correct, young lady. I have been looking for a strong guild to join. I figured that any guild who had members powerful enough to capture me would be the right one to join."

Mirajane sweat-dropped. "Uh… It's a lot easier to join than that…"

Job shrugged. "But not nearly as educational. So, Titania, will you face me?"

The red-haired warrior looked him over. "I could use a million jewel." She walked to the center of the room to face him. "Try not to destroy our guild?"

The man smiled. "I wouldn't have it any other way."

Erza glowed as she requipped her armor and sword. To her surprise, and somewhat insultingly, Job only removed his shirt and took a ready stance.

"You might want more than that." Erza became more on edge. An opponent who acted unpredictably was always more dangerous. Natsu provided ample proof of that.

"If I do then I'll change." Job removed his sunglasses and set them with his shirt. His right eye, colored a carnelian orange when it met Erza's, quickly faded to a forest green. "I prefer to use a different skill set if I can." He took a ready stance.

The other guild members gathered around the two, eager to watch a good fight. Erza circled him cautiously, testing her range of motion and sense of distance. In the past she had faced the optical powers of Laxus' bodyguards and she knew the glint in his eyes was not merely a fighting gleam. Judging that he had not directly affected her body she took a cautionary swing at Job.

Job smiled calmly. Erza's form was impeccable. The sword flashed toward him in a smooth arc that he ducked easily. He could tell she was holding back, exploring. He took a step forward using the sliding feet of a defensive style and caught her wrist. "Come now. You can do better than that."

Erza's face became grim when her target blurred. Job had ducked her swing as most skilled opponents would have but he had stepped in and arrested her before she could respond. It was too early to know for sure, but she guessed his magic slowed either her reaction time or her visual process. She took back her arm when he released it and requipped again. This armor was modeled with gears spikes that resembled the hands of a clock. The helm that appeared shielded her eyes behind sapphire blue glass.

"Kronos armor," Job's smile widened, "It heightens the speed of the user and helps protect against any time spells placed on them– an interesting choice. If I'm not mistaken you combined it with the True Sight Helm." He waved his hand for her to attack again. "Let's see if it works."

Erza was quickly becoming annoyed with Job's light tone. She struck again, driving the point of her sword toward his abdomen and angling it at the last second to drive the hilt into his diaphragm.

Job coughed when the hit connected, but he didn't fall or appear to move much. All appearances indicated that Erza's strike had failed, but her helm had let her see his motion this time, as if in slow motion. He had jumped back, matching the speed of her attack to absorb the energy. When he moved again, too fast for Erza to stop him but plenty slow for the helm to register, he pushed the sword away and again took her arm in his hand. This time however he drove a finger into a nerve forcing her hand to open and release her weapon. He kicked the blade away, causing it to bury itself in a wall, and pushed her back to her starting point.

"Very good, Erza Scarlet." Job looked her over again as if reassessing the situation. "I've been looking for a fight like this. Why don't we take it down a notch? Hand to hand instead of using these unwieldy weapons. Keep the helm, though. You'll need it."

Erza frowned. "What kind of magic is that?" She released her armor to change into her, admittedly less modest, sparring clothes. Despite her caution she was becoming curious.

"If you beat me I'll answer all your questions." Job took a ready stance. His right eye flashed again and the helm showed his movement change slightly, like a flipbook that had started flipping its pages a little faster.

Erza cringed. This magic was new to her, but she was certain that its repercussions would take a heavy toll on her opponent. Her mind briefly flashed to the descriptions that ranged from ten to ninety years old. Before she could reflect further, however, Job charged.

His movements were slower than before, though still formidable, and she had to concentrate in order to repel his blows and strike where she could. Seeing an opening she drove her fist toward the cluster of nerves near the clavicle. Her hand didn't connect. She gave an involuntary gasp when his fingers touched her skin, gently redirecting her attack up and over his shoulder. She looked at his face and his left eye was blazing bright violet through the helm's blue lens. She thought it was charm magic, but the effect didn't fade when she became aware of it. She shuddered as his hand followed hers, grasped it, and moved it back again so that her right arm was stuck straight out, up, and behind her head. Their legs were too close to kick and the maneuver brought his face right next to hers. From the throng around them Erza caught a hooting remark about dancing instead of fighting.

"Shall we call this one a draw?" His warm breath against her cheek and ear made her face flush.

"Let go of me now if you know what's good for you." Her voice was shaky.

"What's wrong? You look a little flushed." His free hand pinned her left arm to her side and his leg locked with hers to prevent movement.

Erza bit her lip, straining her muscles to escape. "How much magic do you have?"

"Questions later." Job's hand moved to the small of her back, causing her to shiver then scream in pain as his finger pressed into her renal nerves. Her legs gave way and she fell to the ground gasping. The pain was much more intense than it should have been.

Job stepped back to stunned silence and he relaxed, ending the magic he was using. Almost instantly his back bent, wrinkles appeared on his thinning skin. In a less than a minute he had become an old man. "Do you concede defeat?" He sounded weak.

Erza caught her breath. "No." She stood and punched Job with as much power as she could muster. The wizard was lifted off his feet and slammed into the wall just next to the sword that still stuck out.

"Good." He smiled. His right eye glowed again, and he stood straight.

Erza charged him with renewed vigor. As she had thought, the self-directed time magic he used had backfired. Now she was landing hit after hit on his body with little to know resistance. When she had worked out her frustration over his charm-like magic before she stepped back. She sweat-dropped.

Job stood straighter than ever, apparently unharmed. "You know, that hurt Erza." The air shimmered around him and he the heavy scythe appeared in his hand. Grasping the sword in the wall he wrenched it loose and tossed it to Erza. In the shadows his eye continued to glow brightly. "Arm yourself, I'm done playing."

Erza was fast to requip into her most powerful armor to counter the Reaper Blade her opponent had summoned. She lunged. The blades connected with a harsh ring. For an old man Job had surprising strength. Another exchange left no doubt they were equally matched. She would need more than a direct attack to beat this opponent. She swung again and stumbled when her sword dissolved into rust. The scythe had caught the weapon with its edge this time. The path of the weapon brought it to her throat and she bent back. The blade caught a lock of her hair leaving a dead gray streak.

Job looked like a demon as he pressed his attack. His body looked to be reversing the aging process, muscles swelling, color returning to his skin, and the one eye glowing with magic. His speed was more normal now, letting Erza catch her breath as she danced around his blade. He watched her carefully, unsure why she wasn't fighting back. He got his answer soon enough.

Erza took the first opening she saw and stepped inside Job's defense. She caught the scythe in one hand and picked up a nearby beer– Cana protesting at this– and splashed it in his face. He shut his eyes and backed off, the alcohol burning. "Ah! Oh come on, that hurts!" A bright orange aura developed around him. "Geez, every time."

Erza paused, her fist inches away from striking the final blow. A bright flash lit the room and where Job had been sitting was a young child. He was sniffling and rubbing his eyes. She sighed. "Do I win?"

The little kid nodded. "Sure. Damn, I hate getting things in my eyes." He blinked away the tears of irritation. Somewhere near the door he heard Natsu get up as well.

"All right, where did he go? That wasn't fair. I want a rematch!"

"He's over here."

Natsu barreled through the crowd. "Where is he?" He stopped in front of Erza and Job. "Erza, which way did he go– huh?" He looked at the child. "Who's this kid?"

"That's Job. He's–"

"I'm her son!" Job interrupted her childishly. Natsu's jaw dropped and he stammered while Job fell back laughing at the look on his face.

Erza was just as surprised. "What? N-no, he's Job. The wizard who came in…"

"You have a kid with that guy?" Natsu was incredulous.

"No! This is the wizard. His magic backfired and turned him into a child."

Natsu concentrated silently as he fit the pieces together. He nodded. "Okay." He looked at the laughing boy. "You, me, rematch in about ten years."

Job calmed down. "Ten years won't be enough for you to catch up, kid."

"WHAT? Why you–!" He tried to jump on Job but the crowd restrained him. "Hey, you heard what he said! I can't let him get away with it! Let me go!"

Job smiled and stood, looking around. "Right. Now, if you'll have me, where do I sign up?"

"The HELL with that!" Natsu was still raging. "I don't want him here!"

"Calm down. " Spoken quietly from the side, the words hushed everyone. "Of course he is welcome." Makarov nodded.

Erza knelt behind Job and wrapped her arms around him. She knew better but she couldn't help but treat him like a child. "Caught you."

Job blanched and his head fell. "Heh. So you did." He reached into the pile of clothes around him and fished out a wad of cash. "Here. By the way, anyone have any clothes that's fit me?" The crowd was more focused on the cash Erza had just received.

Romeo stepped in. "Yeah, I've got some clothes. Hang on!" The boy ran out of the hall, ecstatic to be of service to a wizard, especially one who could hold his own with Erza. Macao called after him, then sighed and followed his son.

Mirajane came over with a stamp and marked the boy's chest with a dark green Fairy Tail symbol. She smiled. "Welcome to Fairy Tail."

Erza sat on the ground next to Job while he waited for Romeo to return. "You promised me more than money if I won."

"I did, didn't I? Very well." Job smiled up at her. "I use self directed time magic and nervous magic."

"Nervous magic?" Erza couldn't help but raise an eyebrow.

"It's magic that changes how your nerves sense things. When I used it earlier I was enhancing your sensation of touch by about five times. You're pretty cute when you blush."

Erza frowned at him, the same look she used to stop Natsu and Grey from fighting. "Don't do it again."

Job smiled slyly. "Oh scary… But you liked it. Your heart was beating so fast." He pointed to his left eye. Without the active magic she could see that one eye was forest green and the other was a sea blue. "This eye is a transplant. I traded with an old friend because we each wanted the other's magic."

Erza looked sick. "You… traded eyes…"

"Yeah. Why? You want one of mine too? I can use my time magic regularly– it's just easier to hide it in my eye."

Erza shook her head. "N-no. I was just curious. I have an artificial eye."

Job stared at her face. "No less beautiful for it." He nodded as if that settled it. "You had more questions?"

"You kept changing ages during the fight."

"Yeah, side effects of the magic. I can speed up, slow down, or reverse my own time relative to one person. The problem is that when I speed time up like that I also age at the same relative rate. It could easily kill me to hold it too long. The same thing happens when I reverse time. When I get something in my eyes though…" He motioned to his body. "It can throw my concentration and cause the magic to go haywire. I've ended up a few months old before."

"You're scythe is a time weapon too." Erza nodded to the weapon that lay at their feet.

"It's a death scythe. Anything that the edge touches, well…" He reached out to the gray streak in Erza's hair. "It'll grow back out. Don't worry."

She shrugged. "It's just hair, I won't." She stood, satisfied with his answers. "Welcome to Fairy Tail, then."

"Hey Erza," Job smiled up at her. "Can I take you out to dinner when I grow up?" His childish voice and face made the request much more endearing than it would be coming from an adult.

"We'll see." Erza turned away, expressionless as usual.


End file.
